April 6, 2011

Diary of a Dieter...let me just say this was a loooong time ago!

Diary of a Dieter:

So my sister’s blog has recently inspired me for a couple of reasons:
  1. She is going Atkins…no more delicious breads, pastas or potatoes.
  2. Her blogs on the insanity of carb depravation are hilarious
Recently Like two months ago I joined a “Live Healthy Iowa” team to shed a few…and by few I mean 30….pounds. Today One day a few months ago was the first day and to prepare myself for this day I had been sort of training and mentally preparing myself. I have a few vices – Mt. Dew and any of the above mentioned non – Atkins friendly foods and had been limiting myself on those joys (i.e. 1 can of Mt. Dew a day).

Day 1 goes went something like this:

I woke up 20 minutes early (which is an ungodly hour of the morning anyway) pulled my hair up in pony tail, threw on a sports bra, some leggings and a fantastic banana yellow T-shirt from a MS walk a few years back.

Proceed to my basement. In my basement lies a fantastic machine that I got for FREE (yes people, free) from someone that works in the same building I do. Let us ignore the fact that I got this machine about a month three months ago and have been on it a total of one time! This machine is called the Fitness Flyer. Never heard of it? Think Tony the Pony with his spandex pants and ball cap with that crazy, curly - messy blonde hair fighting the back of the cap for some air and his Gazelle craze.

To warm up I do a few squats and stretches and then obediently place my hands on the center bar per machine’s direction for safety when mounting the machine. Off I go. I have my iPod playing and tell myself, “Ok, you are going to stay on this machine for about 3 or 4 songs.” (This was a trick I used during my days of tanning to give myself a good estimate of how much time had passed  - the average song is what 3 ½ minutes?) Sounds like a good plan to me. ½ way through my first song I realized something. I am severely out of shape and the tension setting was turned up waaaay too much on this contraption. Short interlude where I turn the tension down so far the dial falls out...... Longer recess when I have to get off the machine, pick up said dial and carefully screw it back in; but not too tight, I wouldn’t want to overly exert my fluffy body. Don't. judge. me.

I make it through.... about a good 15 minutes on the lower setting, step off and decide I will jump rope a little bit for a “cool down” Was I nuts? Jump roping is sooo not a cool down. That was the “stick a fork in me I am done” down.  Oh wait, the fork broke? I guess I was overdone then.

I definitely did not look this happy......or buff!

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