It is TWO o’clock in the morning. I have to get up in approximately 3 hours.
It started about 45 minutes ago when the husband’s cell phone/alarm clock did its late night tribute to an 80’s Rock Legend, busting through the late silence by cranking out, “Imma Cowboy, on a steel horse I ride. I’m wanted, WANTEEEDD, dead or alive”……….snooze…….. “Imma Cowboy, on a steel horse I ride”…….me saying husband’s name sweetly…..snooze…… “Imma Cowboy, on a steal horse I ride” me flopping in the bed and sighing/growling aggressively…….. “I’m wanted, WANTEEEDD”….me tapping husband’s shoulder…….Snooze………….“Imma Cowboy” SMACK SHOULDER AND SWEAR………surprise/sneak attach snooze in which I think it is shut off…….repeat steps 1 through smack. Husband bitching,but finally up and out of bed saying, “Light” in order to let me prepare myself for the onslaught of blinding white. EVERY FRICKING (weekday) MORNING!!
But tonight, or this morning, or whatever the frick it is, there was an addition. Somewhere between “WANTEEEEDDD” and “dead or alive” there was a CRASH downstairs. I was like the Road Runner all “Beep Beep” throwing off my blankets and heading toward the noise and my husband was like Droopy Dog all “Loud sound? Crash? Ah, what could that have been?” and walking toward the stairs with audible Dum-dee-dum-dee-DUMBASS music playing to his every step. Good to know if anyone ever breaks in to my house that I will be the one shot first for running to the danger. It is like my Dad says, “You can’t fly like and Eagle when you are working with a bunch of turkeys” Amen, Dad, A-men!
Oh, you probably want to know what the noise was? Just my Dog again with the 5 ½ foot reach deciding he would also like to try my bubble pizza recipe and pulling the pan off of the back of the stove. My glass pan with super glass pan powers that did not break! SORRY, I am not Susie Homemaker who does every dish after a meal. The pan was hot and needed to cool down and we didn’t eat til 8 because I can never leave work and I totally put the leftovers in containers and put them in the fridge. So there!
About to Run Droopy's ass over!