May 15, 2011

Ass Wednesday

The Catholic girl in me is totally red-faced about the title of this, but seriously peeing her pants on the inside for how clever it is.

I was walking to the bathroom at work and just happened to glance to the left when I  saw my ass reflecting back at me in the office windows…..It.Was.Frightening! I am officially out of excuses. No, it is NOT the pants….It is not me just having a "fat ass day." Nope, its not even the glare from some solar flash highlighting my rear at the exact moment I was looking and then blowing the image up to three times the size it is in reality. (Pretty sure that lame ass logic isn’t fooling anybody on how my lame ass has gained weight.)

This sucks! I went from moving and grooving for 10 hours a day to sitting on my flabby lady hump for about 10 hours a day….this was inevitable. Lord give me the strength to start doing squats and running and not eating constantly at my desk. Lord, please turn the other cheek for the title of this particular blog in order to grant my serenity and a more toned derriere. Lord (or whoever is listening at this point b/c I am pretty sure He didn’t turn the other cheek) please make it so I no longer have to shoe horn myself into my own pants. Amen

Nope, I can't even blame THIS CHAIR!!?!?


SarcasmInAction said...

my lard ass kicks your ass's.... ass, I guess?

Striving for Mediocrity said...

The Ass War will be epic. It will surely be in the history books for the children of the future.