How I Fell in Love with Another Donut and Then Had Personal Struggles with a Co-worker's Saucy Balls.....

We had a food today which also led me to firmly believe that this week has been a sort of Christmas for Chubby and/or Pregnant ladies in my neck of the woods. I wake up one morning to find a pair of maternity jeans I ordered on my front deck, get to work and find treat bags at my desk, plus there was a bake sale and then food day today in which I came across the BEST glazed donut again. Mexican Fiesta asked me for a description of what this donut tasted like…. and this was my response:  “like a cloud from heaven dropped down to earth and bathed in a sea of angel kissed sugary glaze” Seriously, I think I have a condition. A donut obsession that should be addressed… but not too quickly.

There is not a good way to break into this next segment, it is still food day related so you will have to deal, but anyhoo… a guy that works in my dept always brings his saucy balls to our food days. I don’t necessarily have a problem with his meaty balls… I have a problem with the sauce that accompanies them. It is a chunky sauce… and I refuse to have it in my mouth. I refuse to swallow chunky sauce… ever. I don’t swallow regular sauce at home so I refuse to swallow this guy’s sauce.

So the whole issue with said guy’s balls makes me think of Schweddy Balls from SNL and then a whole pile of hilarity ensued through IM. (Which I had to quickly educate my co-worker Mamma Sassypants in the joys of Sweddy Balls because I am slowly exposing to her to the world of pop culture references that may be slightly beyond her time.)

Me:

Totally can smell Doug's saucy balls over here......

Mamma Sassypants:

stop!

Me

nope

I am going to IM and tell him to keep a tight lid on his saucy balls b/c the smell of them makes me nauseous

I know you like to bring them to every occasion Dude, but seriously...

put ‘em away already

Mamma SP:

lol

i wanna know what he says

Me

I am totally not having a convo like that with Dude

I don't wanna know where it will end up

Mamma SP:

now i'm GOLing

Me:

it could be interesting though

bring our relationship to a whole new level

we're tight like that…

*emoticon of boy and girl with arms outstretched towards each other* after the bags competition back in the day

Mamma SP:

lol

Anyway, I am almost out of my lunch break time… but don’t worry, I will keep this up as the day goes on and Dude continues to frequent the food area to coat his balls in sauce…. Nobody wants dry balls... those are definitely not going in my mouth either.

Mmmm.... Saucy Balls