Having Baby Boy and becoming a Mom was definitely the thing I was missing in my life, no doubt about it. Besides being wonderful, heart warming and fulfilling Motherhood is also isolating and frustrating. Nothing really prepares your for the roller coaster ride of it all and other Moms seem to not really tell you the whole truth until a woman becomes a mother herself. Sure, you hear it is exhausting and scary, but no one tells you about those secret moments when they are sobbing in a rocking chair and mourning their old self. No one says out loud, "I had moments where I thought I would love it if you weren't here for just half a day so I can be me." Then Baby does something amazing like coo or put his precious face right on your cheek and just snuggle for a minute and those freak out moments disappear.
Baby Boy is four weeks old tomorrow and I find myself more in love every minute. He amazes me with the things he is doing already that all of the books say he shouldn't be doing. At almost three weeks old I watched my perfect baby grasp the rings on a toy and put them in his mouth! He is developing a pattern and my Mommy instincts are so tuned into his every moment that this does seem natural.
In all the newness and loss of self, I find myself enjoying the most mundane moments. It isn't every day you send a text to your Mom and Sisters saying, "the highlight of my day so far was catching poop in a wipe - now that is skill!" The Husband and I have had total junior high giggle fests over all sorts of bodily functions too like when Baby Boy peed during a diaper change or squished out poop like a very noisy play doh extruder while Husband was holding him. Baby Boy is definitely all man, he sleeps with his arms above his head bent at the elbows, wakes up farting like he belongs in a nursing home and eats loudly and with much enjoyment.
Every day is a challenge and an adventure. I have learned a lot about myself and been able to watch my marriage develop to a whole new level. I joke that it only took us ten years to make this baby, but I see now that he came at the perfect time in my life. Any earlier and we would have crumbled, any later and the joy would be different somehow.