March 28, 2011

Nightie Power!

     So something I remember reading about awhile back was all about ways to keep the romance alive in your relationship and common mistakes couples make when they gotten to that, “Well, you are still here after this long so I guess there really isn’t much else I can do that will make you run screaming for the door” stage. One of the solutions was to sleep in cute little nightgowns and not your favorite jumbo sized tee and nasty bleach stained sweats. I am extremely offended by the writer of this article for a few reasons:

  1. What the hell are you doing peeping in my windows looking at what I am going to bed in? What I put on first thing when I get home from work (and sometimes even stay in for a majority of the weekend) is none of your damn business!
  2. Have you tried sleeping in a nightgown of any sort? A) The shorter ones ride up around your neck and by the time the alarm goes off the next morning you are thankful to be alive because you very well could have been strangled in undisturbed sleep.  Notice the emphasis on the word undisturbed. Why such emphasis you ask? Because the short nighty does not look remotely attractive as a bunchy floral scarf and defeats the purpose of putting it on in the first place.  B) The longer ones wrap and twist around your legs and feet (especially if you are 5’2 like me) and you end up stuck in your cocoon prison for the night unable to move, or get up to pee, or even consider adding any kind of romance to your night because, well, your legs are permanently stuck in the locked no entrance position. And C) If any lingerie stood a chance of staying on for more than 15 minutes, I might consider buying some, but again I ask, what is the point? Eventually I am going to have to get up and reach for my sweats anyway.
  3. What are your suggestions for romantic sleepwear for men Mr. Sleepwear Expert (and I have to say Mr. because only a man would have a solution to romance like that)?? Banana hammocks really aren’t something I ever want to see my spouse sleeping in. Just the mental image I get of him even trying to put one of those things on makes me shudder. Another suggestion, sleeping in the nude? From my experience that just seems to guarantee a night of sleeping next to someone with no barrier of protection to guard my scarf nighty clad body from the sweaty man sheen on said body. 

 All of the sudden I am way more appreciative of the fact that my hubby spends most of his nights sleeping on the couch because of his insanely early work hours.

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