Productive Work Habits

Several months back the company decided to install Instant Messaging on all employees’ computers. Here are just a few of the reasons why this was a bad idea and has probably had a negative impact on production:

Example one:

10:02 AM – Me: Not only do I have Friday brain......I now have  ADHD brain

10:02 AM – Co-worker (who is like my lost sibling): hahhaha... ooh shiny

10:02 AM. -  Me: SQUIRREL!

10:02 AM – Co-worker:  HAHA

10:04 AM  – Me:   I think I just felt that cookie slide to my hips 

                    BWAHAHAHAHA

10:05 AM – Co-worker: HAHAHA

10:05 AM – Me: see.....something is WRONG with me today ..Can't focux..

                    or focus

10:05 AM – Co-worker: LOL focux - love it

10:05 AM – Me: Harry Potter will never find my Focux.....

                    OMG

10:05 AM – Co-worker: hahahahahahahahahahahaha

10:05 AM – ME: I just referenced  Harry Potter

Example two:

10:38 AM - Me My time in that piece or work would put SOMEONE to shame    

                  lol

10:38 AM – Co-worker:  hahaha

10:41 AM – Co-worker: my time in this piece of work is comparable to that of a monkeys

10:41 AM – Me: LOL

10:41 AM – Co-worker: a slow retarded monkey

10:41 AM – Me: I am having the opposite problem with everything else....I

                    am more like a monkey on crack

10:41 AM – Co-worker: HAHA

10:42 AM – Co-worker:  we are like experimental monkeys - you are given crack, i am given

                                      sedatives or some sort of toxic poison that effects how my brain works

Example three:

11:41 am – Me: OOOOHHH Oooohh. New name for the day!

11:42 am – Me:   Ralph Pittle hehe

11:43 am – Co-worker: I have missed the daily name game.

11:44 am – Me: I will try harder from now on.

Yeah, pretty sure I have the brain of a 12 year old at work. I guess if I ever get fired it won’t be for my standards being too low… it will be my inability to let a 20 minute window go by without sharing something dumb in an IM. I like to call this team building…or maybe I am boosting morale?

P.S. If you have access to these anywhere I highly recommend putting
the sheep with the lovely black girl behind it..it makes people worry.