Munchausen for Dogs

I am terrified we are going to get investigated for animal cruelty. Last Monday our big baby Diesel had a minor surgery to remove an abscess from his neck. I told my Husband that we needed to take the collar in just to show people that it is not too tight. I can fit four of my fingers in it! Turns out he had some fairly common skin tumor - no biggy. Stitches and four antibiotic pills a day.

Sunday we noticed that he was limping - with the opposite foot that he sometimes does. Ask him to sit and pick up his right foot and see that his pads are swollen and weeping. What the hell now? My husband refers to the girls at the Vet Clinic as Diesel's "Girlfriends." I believe his has taken this whole go to the vet every other week to visit a little too far. Sunday night I put antibiotic on his paw, covered that in gauze and threw a tube sock over it all - which had him high stepping like a mini pony.

By Tuesday morning I knew I had to get him back into the vet. He has a possible bacterial infection OR a yeast infection in his paw. I explained this to a co-worker today and she asked the very reasonable question of, "Isn't you dog a boy?" Well yes, but we are talking about his paw, not his vag! To make a long story short, I have a plan which I quickly emailed to Best Friend:

So I have decided that Diesel will need to get a job to pay for his vet bills. Surgery last Monday and now I have to take him in later today because something is wrong with his front right foot. If you know of anyone that needs a large animal to pull a plow maybe, or till their garden, pass my number along. There might be a few weeks wait so the foot can heal, but after that it is all work and no play for the moose. Either that or I will end up in jail because they are going to think I am being cruel to my animal!

God help me but I love my Shelter Mutt. He is probably one of the highlights of the last year and this past year has included purchasing our first home.