July 12, 2011

A Rose by Any Other Name...........

     I am not a historian or a linguist or even a creationist, and am way too lazy to actually look any of this up, but who got to make the final decision on the names of body parts or verbs or nouns? I guess I want to know where language even started. This is like the chicken or the egg debate for me. So cave men drew pictures and grunted the meanings, but who turned those grunts into actual verbs and nouns? And why did they get the honor?
     What if whoever decided to name our hands hands and feet feet had made different decisions? I don’t know about you, but I can’t imagine myself wiping my ass with my feet. Or wait, what if ass wasn’t the name, what if I pooped out of my ear and then wiped it with my feet. OMG. This could go on forever…because poop might not be poop anymore.
    I think for just one day we should all walk around and jumble up the words we know when speaking. Example:
Current language:
                "I am going to walk the dog before I cook supper. When I get back wash your hands."
Alternative language:
                "I am going to trip the monkey before I defecate chicken. When I pitter patter, dirty your feet."
     How messed up is this? Chicken could be the new word for supper and then my husband would slowly die of starvation because he gets sick and tired of eating chicken! Think about it people because I know I have. Eventually it makes my elbow hurt from thinking too hard.

"Thanks for telling me Steve, I have been calling it noodle."


Marianna Annadanna said...

Hubby speaks an alternate language in his sleep. "Bah! Humdey lahdah BOP! Hunnah, gar, NIE!"

Striving for Mediocrity said...

Maybe he knows the lost cave man language? My husband raises his hand and yells out old elementary school teacher's names in his sleep....I don't think he got called on enough as a child.