July 3, 2011

The Tale of High Priority Emails.............

     A while back my long time hotmail account was hacked and never recoverable, so I linked my Husband's email address to my phone and told people to use that. I noticed last week that the "high priority" emails that are delivered to his email address tell a tale... the tale that my Husband is in fact a large chested, geriatric woman who still likes to get around. See for yourself:

Subject: Genie Bra Blowout Sale
*Would that bra be for me? Or for my husband?

Genie Bra - Exclusive Offer. Buy 3 get 3 free.

Subject: Sexy and Supportive Bras
**No cool picture, but these carry AA to LL....OMG, LL???

Subject: Defective Hip Replacement Recalls
***Apparently it's not just your back that is affected by large breasts....

Subject: Go Anywhere with a Wheel Chair Van
****With that faulty hip and those double L boobies chances are you will need a wheelchair van.

Subject: Enjoy Handcrafted Amish Furniture In Your Home
*****No pictire again, but at least you got that Wheelchair van so you can cart home your old fashion, ridiculously over-priced amish dining set - jumbo boobs riding shotgun.

Subject: Here’s How to Help Yourself if You are Depressed
******The fact that your Guiness Book sized boobs have caused major distrress on your body causing the need for even a hip replacement surgery, which ended up being faulty and put you in a wheel chair causing you to buy a wheelchair van, would probably make anyone suicidal.

Subject: Buy Burial Insurance Online
******Fuck it, just give up already!


Marianna Annadanna said...

Wow. I'd be concerned about your Husband if I were you...

Striving for Mediocrity said...

I have been concerned ever since he told me that his first CD was a Celine Dion album......